


Conner Writes a Letter

by LebreTim



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LebreTim/pseuds/LebreTim
Summary: Ra’s al Ghul really wants Tim to have his babies but Kol-El is not very keen of the idea. Instead of beating the creep’s butt like he should he writes a nice and polite letter asking the Demon’s Head to leave his boyfriend alone. It’s as nice and polite as it gets.





	Conner Writes a Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read it there's something you should know: I became a SuperBat shipper and that's how I got to know Tim and completely fell in love with him. The point is: all I know about Tim I learned from other works and I never saw Ra's and Conner interacting before and I understand it is something that might never have happened so if you're looking for a work that make lots of sense... You'll have to search a little bit more.

Mr. Ra’s Creep al Ghul  
Somewhere in Hell, I believe  
Right next to Lazarus Pit

  


Dear Demon’s Head,

I don’t think you receive a lot of letters from over-protective boyfriends concerned about you chasing their boyfriends. However just to be safe I’ll introduce myself:

My name is Connor Kent - also known as Kon-El – but I would rather you call me Tim’s boyfriend. You haven’t had the amazing opportunity to meet me yet but if you don’t stop harassing Tim it might happen sooner than you expect.

You can’t imagine my surprise when MY boyfriend and I were shagging on one of our making out spots and suddenly three of your minions appeared out of nowhere. They’re very quiet, you should be proud. (Again: I’m sorry for breaking this guy’s arm).

You see, what really surprised me were the gifts you sent. Roses, chocolate, that really expensive watch I could never buy with my part-time superhero payment. I must say you’re a real gentleman. You know, for a pedophile.

The thing is: I can’t even bring myself to be mad at you. So you got a crush on my boyfriend. Man, I got you. He’s probably the second hottest man alive just after me and he has a very skillful tongue. It’s almost a shame I’m the one that will ever get to experience that.

Back to the point: since I’m a very considerate person I came up with some reasons for you to stop persuading Tim. I’m sure once you finish reading them you’ll be able to see things through my perspective.

The first one is the age gap between you. You’re probably all hundred years-old and Tim is only eighteen. Maybe you should look for someone closer to your age like… Albus Dumbledore? (Do you even know what Harry Potter is? I hope you do otherwise you won’t get it)

Then I thought: how would your daughter feel having a step-father way younger than her? What about Damian? His brother would also be his grandfather in a way. And even though I believe a chance to mess with the little brat should not be wasted I think the batfamily already has enough problems without having to deal with Damian trying to kill Tim. Again.

There’s also that little tiny detail that you might have forgotten: you’re evil. Tim’s not. I admit he can get pretty mean when he wants but still… There’s absolutely nothing in this world that could make him join the bad side. Ever.

I could think about some other reasons but I have a date in few minutes and I don’t want to be late. I hope you are now able to see that I only want the best for you and the best for you is to stay away from Tim.

If you choose to ignore my advice I’ll have to try a different approach.

Here’s what I’ll do:

First I’m going to drink every drop* of Lazarus Pit gross water so when I beat your ass really hard nothing will be able to bring you back from hell this time.

Then I’m going to get Tim and fly him to Paradise Island where we’re going to make love so good we’ll break biology law and he will get pregnant. 

Our first baby will be named Not Ra’s’ and we will name the second one Not Ra’s’ Either just because I want and can.

With that being said I hope you have a very lovely life away from my boyfriend.

Best wishes,

  


Your Worst Nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you know something I would really like? A rap battle between Ra's and Kon for Tim's love.  
> Anyway I hope you liked it  
> XO


End file.
